Time Travel

Apparently, I have an alter ego named Kristy Garcia who buys Victoria Secret
panties.

It just occurred to me that if there's a '90s revival, as there seems to be,
will non-thong underwear and pubic hair also make a come back? Is Veronica's Closet on cable, perchance?

I'm fairly certain I was not hallucinating when a few hours ago a college
senior assumed I was a recent graduate. At best, I've thought I could get away
with shaving five years off my age, despite the occasional drunk/high
20-something male thinking I'm 28. This is a whole new level of
confusion/denial. Once again, I can only chalk it up to context/self-absorption, i.e. people here must be like me, and not deep scrutiny.

Fifteen years was my response to "How long have you lived in NYC?"
which solicited an "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were just out of
school." But fifteen years isn't even how long I've been out of school.
That would be an additional four.

I only existed post-college four years in Portland before moving to NYC, a
fact I just realized because it felt like I was in my 20s for a decade at least
before heading out here. I'm not sure if it's that time moves slowly in
Portland, or outside of NYC generally, or if time just speeds up once you hit
mid-20s. I told the NYU senior that 15 years can pass in no time and properly
scared her.

I went to a 31st birthday party this weekend in Ridgewood, the new hipster
environs that was my first NYC neighborhood in 1998. When I moved to NYC this
birthday celebrant would've been a sophomore in high school at best.

I'm going to go to bed now and possibly keel over in my sleep. Good night.