Kittens Are Not Cute

Kitten heel

I, too, now hate kitten heels. They seriously fucked
my shit up Friday night. After re-finding a pair, maybe five years old, heel
re-capped, no fancy brand, I decided to wear them, now that they've been
declared back in style. (I had no idea they were out, I just hadn't worn them
for a while because they actually kind of suck because you'd think they would
be more comfortable than real heels but aren't at all.) The thing is, what
everyone (ok, nymag.com and Refinery 29) is calling kitten heels are just
mid-heels, I guess because at some point over the past few years 4" became
standard so 2.5" now seems short and kitteny? Kitten heels are under
2" like the ones I wore Friday and killed my feet so bad (due to
narrowness that I'd forgotten, not the heel height) that I was convinced I had
bloody stumps hidden under the dusty blue tights I was wearing. The biggest
mistake, however, was opting for the bus (my new mode of transport from
downtown Brooklyn home) at 3am instead of transferring to the also hellish,
infrequent G in order to cut down on potential walking time to save my feedt.
Turns out after midnight the B54 only runs once an hour, a fact I didn't
discover until 25 minutes into waiting for the next one after reaching the stop
just as the bus was pulling away. I gave up and walked the 1.4 miles home
tights-footed, despite the supposed danger of that stretch of Myrtle Ave. late
night. It was fine. Just a few rowdy people getting food from plexiglass bodega
window. It felt refreshing and I only ripped a tiny hole in the bottom of my
tights. The balls of my feet hurt two nights later and the last two toes on
both my feet are covered in blisters, but that's because of the shitty kitten
heels not from walking nearly barefoot in Brooklyn. Next thing you know I'll
start with those heinous toe glove "shoes."

10 thoughts on “Kittens Are Not Cute

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