Top O’ the Afternoon to You

Ok, I’m officially retarded. Frequently, I plan what to wear the next day, the night before. Not like I lay out clothes, but I’ll make a mental note and then in the morning I don’t have to scramble to come up with something relatively inoffensive and professional. It’s tough. But I was dead tired last night, same this morning. I globbed onto a gray pleated skirt in my closest and tried to go from there. The simplest thing was to add a crew neck sweater, no layering or coordinating jackets, cardigans, camisoles etc. Easy. I grabbed a green and white striped Banana Republic Outlet sweater. As I was about to leave, I skimmed my shoe rack and decided on a complimentarily colored, but incongruously patterned pair of $9 Old Navy green and white hounds tooth flats. Fine. It wasn’t until I got to work that I realized I was totally dressed like a St. Patrick’s Day dork. Urgh, and I’m going out after work so it’s not like I’ll have a chance to change. I actually went out at lunch to two of my favorite nearby chains, New York & Company and Strawberry, to find a cheap, non-green, replacement top, and was completely stymied. Everything is spring themed, sleeveless and ugly. Lots of linen and Moroccan influence and beads at NY & Co. and all short sleeved. Strawberry is all acrylic and polyester and tight, nothing work appropriate. I can’t wear sleeveless shirts (I know that’s a Rainbow link, but it’s like the same thing and Strawberry doesn’t have a website, probably because they’re too cheap) or even cap sleeves because of tattoos (and not shaving since earlier in the week), plus it’s still winter. I found one acceptable cream colored sweater and then remembered I was wearing a purple bra. So thwarted, I just gave up. I’m now resigned to giving in to the holiday spirit. If only I had a Shamrock Shake to complete the transformation.