Short Cuts
The dreaded sensible hair might’ve struck again. I got it cut last night, not crazy short, just what I imagined to be kind of choppy and sassy but once again it’s dangerously close to that […]
Tragedies
Nailing It
Yesterday on my way to the gym, a tan, late-twentysomething woman tuning out with headphones and big sunglasses stopped me on the sidewalk and asked, “Do you live in the neighborhood?” I cannot tell a […]
Not Grasshopper, Too
R.I.P David Carradine. I will always remember you walking into the sunset, an exemplary wise drifter-loner. As an aside, I didn't realize Martha Plimpton was his niece. P.S. If anyone has any suggestions for additions […]
Even Teenage Witches Pack on the Pounds
People magazine is a foul little rag best consumed for free while on an elliptical trainer. Yet after reading the recent New York Times article, "People Magazine Still Has a Bikini Body" I'll admit that […]
Every (City of) Rose(s) Has its Thorn
Make the Portland stories stop now, please. I can't read lines like, "Few Jobs in Places Like Portland and Austin, but the Hipsters Just Keep on Coming" before I've had my first cup of (non-Stumptown) […]
Sizing Things Up
While Ann Taylor isn't on my top retail list anyway (I was resigned to buying boots from them in the past since no one else seemed to sell non-ugly, extended calf boots under $150. Now, […]
Smear Campaign
After receiving news of my gazillionth abnormal pap smear, I now await my gazillionth (realistically more like 15th or 16th—I’ve lost track) colposcopy/biopsy. I know bodies are resilient (and that biopsy samples are tiny) but […]
Bringing Home the Bacon
Love (which I mean to love being depressed by) those sporadic social security statements that come in the mail. Shocked that I only made $7,497 in 2002 at 30 years old, barely more than the […]
Dead Last
Oh, Oregon, will you ever win? If I were to believe the incessant food media coverage of my home state I would believe that all of Portland was cultivating, harvesting, curing or pickling food or […]
When the Cat’s Away
Right before heading on vacation, I noticed that a copy of Gayme was flagrantly sitting atop my stacks of newly rediscovered books and magazines that haven’t found a permanent space yet. Thinking of that story […]