Spoiler Alert: Were You Really Going to See “Dear John?”
I got a little riled up with all this young Hollywood/burn outs chatter and had to peek at Henry Thomas’ IMDB listing. What the fuck? He’s in Dear John. I guess you take what you […]
Star Gazing
Faded Beauty
Who is that oddly compelling man in the small photo on The New York Times’ homepage teasing a theater section story? Furrowed brow, scrubbed, pinkish. Hello, troubled, broken and handsome. Stupid, I don’t care who […]
Dream Date
The night before last I dreamt that Crispin Glover was my boyfriend. I have never had any particular attraction to him in real life or given him any thought in over a decade. I can’t […]
It Beats an Outhouse
Just this weekend I was wondering what happened to Karen Grassle. (The long and short of it was that James had never seen Little House on the Prairie and was under the incredibly misguided impression […]
Even Teenage Witches Pack on the Pounds
People magazine is a foul little rag best consumed for free while on an elliptical trainer. Yet after reading the recent New York Times article, "People Magazine Still Has a Bikini Body" I'll admit that […]
At Least I Don’t Wear Mom Jeans
I’ve always bemoaned the lack of short (chin-length not cropped) hair images in magazines. I just like having something to reference when I’m getting a haircut (as I did the week before last in order […]
CSI: Creepy Scene Investigation
It’s official: Henry Thomas has become a creepy guy actor. Last year it was a killer on Without a Trace, now it’s a killer on CSI, both shows I’ve never watched in my life. No […]
Always a Stalker, Never the Stalked
Sure, this is old news but Project Me!: Part 2 is no slave to timeliness or current events. I was curious just exactly which ladies Esquire was referring to when a few months ago they […]
I See Dead Penises
In my day, grown child stars simply robbed video stores and died of drug overdoses or crippled passengers in quaalude-fueled car crashes. Now we have college-aged Haley Joel Osment drawing phalluses in snow-topped cars in […]
The Marrying Kind
There are the kinds of girls you marry and those you just have fun with. Or so they say. I feel like Joel McHale is the marrying type (yes, I realize he's not a girl […]